How to build self-esteem and feel confident – Birds on the Blog

How to build self-esteem and feel confident

National Teen Self Esteem Month May 1 – May 30

Words cast spells, that is why they are called spellings. The way you speak to yourself will affect how you feel and the way you are feeling will affect how you behave.

It took me years to really be able to listen to that voice – the one that was being unkind to me. A voice that was a part of me. It would tell me that I was ugly, or useless or stupid and unworthy, but I wasn’t fully aware of it.

What I would notice was the feeling. I would be going to a party or to school, college then on to a job interview or a presentation for work feeling low in confidence and when I felt that way I would shrink away from other peoples company and that interview or presentation would go horribly wrong.

One evening, on my way to present to a group, I was throwing on some makeup as I hurriedly prepared and that’s when I heard it. That voice, like a dirty parrot sitting on my shoulder that squawked into my ear “Wow, you are ugly!”

In that moment though, I didn’t feel awful I felt elated. I woke up to that voice. I heard it AND I brushed that parrot right off my shoulder. It just wasn’t helpful and just wasn’t the kind of story (also referred to as a limiting belief) that I wanted to hear.

So, how do we build self-esteem and confidence? We tell ourselves helpful and empowering stories. We set smart, ambitious objectives and steer our compass and take bold strides towards the direction of our dreams.

Six useful steps

First – think about your values, what is important to you like creativity, integrity, honesty, trust, loyalty. List as many as you can and then cut your list down to your top 5

Second – write down all the things that you love, like and admire about yourself. Keep a piece of paper with you and keep adding to the list over a period of one week

Third – plan your 24/7 to include all those things in your life that are important to you, at the same time remember to maintain balance

Fourth – write mantra that really connect with what is important to you and your goals. My mantra is, “I am living my best life, AND I am growing.” This gives me permission to be happy with my life now, to be confident in trying new things knowing I will learn from mistakes and grow from that experience.

Fifth – repeat, repeat, repeat those mantra so you can embody those new stories

Sixth – imagine and pretend seeing yourself being that person, morning, noon and night

Our mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Therefore, by repeating the mantra that represent the new story of who you are and how you want to be in life, AND visualising yourself being that way, before you know it you are simply showing up as that person.

Everyone will notice the difference in you.


About the Author Jessica Vassallo

Award-Winning Master NLP Practitioner and Hypnotherapist Transform your Body and Your Mind using NLP and Hypnotherapy https://jessica

follow me on: