Stop waiting for others to give you permission to be you!!! – Birds on the Blog

Stop waiting for others to give you permission to be you!!!

Does this statement resonate with you? If not then continue on with your day but if so then carry on reading.

When I was given the assignment of writing a blog for this month I had a couple of ideas, but I was thinking I hope they will be ok. I hope they will like what I write. I hope what I do is good enough.

This self-doubt stopped me from even starting to write the blog.

If you don’t already know, I am a singer, guitarist, and songwriter.

This week I stepped onto a stage to sing and play guitar for the first time in nearly a year. While I was there doing my thing I totally loved it. After the euphoria eventually subsided I thought why do I feel so good doing this and struggle to feel this good in other areas of my life?

The answers I came up with were … when I am on stage singing, performing, and making the party happen, I am bringing the best part of myself.

The part of me that is happy and relaxed.

The part of me that is doing what I love most and knows that I am good enough to be up there doing it.

The part of me that is totally in the moment just relating to people from a place of pure bliss.

The part of me that is unapologetically me!

Then I compared it to how I operate in other areas of my life.

I have often said I hate getting gigs, which is why I often do contract work on cruise ships or have an agent getting work for me.

I don’t like …

Waiting for someone to recognise my worth.

Comparing myself with others in my head and coming off worst.

Expecting a “no” AND a bad experience to go alongside it.

Wow, these are some self-defeating thoughts that I have been having. And I only realised these by being still for a while and asking myself what I am really thinking deep down.

How often do we do that?

The brilliant thing about thoughts is once you know you are thinking them, you can choose to think different ones.

When I perform, I don’t hope people will like me.

When I am on stage I sing and perform from that part of me that feels good and knows that I deserve to be there. I will choose songs that I think the audience will like and encourage them to be part of the show so that they can fully enjoy the experience and then I do what I do and enjoy myself. Thankfully the people there enjoy it too but I am not focusing on that in the moment, I am purely enjoying being me, doing what I do.

How different is that from what’s going on when I think about approaching people for work?

  • They might not like me
  • They might think I am charging too much
  • They’re going to say no for one of these reasons so don’t put yourself through the emotional pain!!!

No wonder the idea of getting gigs terrifies me.

So now instead I am going to go to the same part of me that is on stage and think from that place.

I love who I am and I love what I do and I am good at it.

The audience will have a fantastic time, the venue will benefit from having me there and I will give 20 years of gigging experience in that one performance.

My job is to be me and show people how me I can be.

I am not in control of their reaction. If they choose to book me then that is up to them. I cannot and do not need to get involved in the process they go through to make their decision. All that matters from my point of view is, did I come from the best part of me?

If the answer is yes then I did my bit.

Who I am is worthy of whatever I want!!!

Once I realise that, the world opens up to me, my opportunities expand and it’s a fun experience to see what unfolds.

I’m interested to hear what you think about this.

Have you been handing your power over to others?

Have you been approaching situations from a place of lack or thinking that you are not good enough?

I am going to be more me and see how much more I enjoy life.

I encourage you to do the same.

If you want to enjoy some great live music head over to www.samcrane.com and listen, enjoy, and if you want, you can book me for a concert.

Till next time, be you because you are truly wonderful xx

 

Author: Sam Crane  www.samcrane.com 

About the Author Sam Crane

Sam Crane is an incredible soulful female singer and performer from England. In her 15 + years of gigging experience, she has entertained audiences across the UK, Europe and Australia. She is equally at home on stage with a large band or in a small intimate setting with just her guitar for accompaniment.