We’ve all worked with really annoying people. What’s ‘annoying’ is different for every person.
You might get really irritated with the manager that sends the brusque email “Need that report by 5pm tonight. No excuses.” Or you might be that manager.
Or maybe it’s the administrator that sends your expense report back because you forgot to total one of the columns.
Perhaps you get really frustrated when another manager pops into your office “Do you have a minute?” [and no you don’t] then proceeds to take 10 minutes describing her journey into the office while you’re thinking “Just get to the point“.
We all have a unique contribution
We are all different. We all have a unique set of skills, strengths and talents. We all have our very own unique contribution to the workplace. How you like to work, how you like communicate, what inspires you, what challenges you … it’s different for every person.
As a women’s career confidence coach, I offer my clients a DISC behavioural assessment profile. If you are familiar with DISC, you may have heard of other tools such as Myers-Briggs or Belbin Team Roles. I like DISC because the assessment is straightforward and my clients find it uncannily accurate. I’m thinking of using DISC in my Women’s Confident Leadership programme. I believe that if you know your own strengths and preferences, you gain a better appreciation of others.
Last night I ran two DISC personality workshops at a local school for their 6th Form Careers Evening. This is my 3rd year at this school and I always LOVE the lightbulb moments on the parents and the students faces.
How you can adapt your behaviour
Once you understand how the different styles prefer to behave and communicate, you can adapt your behaviour to have a more positive influence on your staff, your team, your peers and even your manager. Not in a manipulative way. Let me give you an example.
I worked with woman called Jo. She was a bit older than me. She worked in a different office to me; she was always reliable, friendly, patient, with an eye for detail. If I had sent her a brisk email “Need that report by 5pm tonight. No excuses.”, she honestly would have been hurt and upset.
“Why’s Sherry being so mean and bullying me? What have I done to upset her?”
I am very focused on the task – what needs to be done. Whereas Jo will focus on the person and the feelings. To get the best performance out of Jill, to keep her motivation levels high, I had to learn to adapt my behaviour. My adapted email would look something like:
“Hi Jill, how’s your week been? Looking forward to the weekend, I’m sure. I’ve got a really important deadline that I can’t miss. From our discussions yesterday, I know that your user acceptance data will underline the importance of having clear project milestones. Can you get the report we discussed over to me by 5pm tonight. Many thanks.”
Do you see the difference?
As for those annoying people
We can adapt our behaviour to a certain extent but for a detail person like me (very high C-D), I can’t ‘not’ see the missing full stop. I can’t help but see that you forgot to total the final column. I’m not trying to be deliberately awkward or picky. That’s just who I am. I know that other people don’t ‘get’ the detail and I try hard to bite my tongue sometimes, I really do.
That co-worker who sends you those brusque emails … they’re not trying to be rude or forceful. They are simply being direct and assertive; telling you what needs to be done without wasting your time with fluffy detail.
The four DISC styles
First – would you describe yourself as outgoing or reserved? That part’s usually easy. Though often ‘how’ outgoing you are depends on specific circumstances. Then ask yourself – do I tend to focus on the task and what needs to get done? Or do I focus on the person and their feelings.
This sets the scene for four styles:
D-Driver outgoing and task-focused (driven, determined, doer, decisive)
I-Influencer outgoing and people-focused (impulsive, influencing, independent, friendly, talkative)
S-Steady reserved and people-focused (sincere, stable, steady, consistent, patient)
C-Compliant reserved and task-focused (consistent, creative, critical thinker, analytical, logical)
What about you?
From what I have described, which is your strongest preference? We all have a bit of each of the 4 styles within us. And often we behave differently depending on whether we are at work and home.
Now what about those annoying people … what’s their style? How could you modify your behaviour so that you get on better with them? How could you communicate with them in a different way? What could you do to reduce conflict?
If you enjoyed this article, leave a comment below and I’ll write a follow-up to share what motivates and what really frustrates the different DISC styles.
p.s. If you like my practical and direct style, join me at the end of the month for your live online class on setting successful goals in 2017.
