It’s 8.15am on a sunny Saturday morning in September and I’m about to leave the house to walk to my local park. It’s quiet. Nobody else is up. I have just had a slice of toast and that all important first cup of tea. There’s something special about that first cup of hot tea in the morning.
Anyway I digress.
Absolute beginners and no self-belief
Twice a year, I lead groups of absolute beginners from zero running to completing a timed 5k at our local parkrun. Our Autumn course started two weeks ago on that sunny Saturday morning, when an incredible 83 beginner runners showed up looking expectantly at me, and the other 17 volunteers from my running club (Petts Wood Runners since you’re asking)
Leading a beginners running group is much like leading a group of women on my Back to Work Confidence programme. At first the beginners aren’t sure if they can do it. They don’t know what it’s going to be like. They don’t know what’s expected and whether they’ll be able to keep up. Will we be asking them to do something scary? Or reveal too much about what they’re doing and why? It seems too big a mountain to climb. They have no self-belief. No confidence.
When our beginners graduate after 9 weeks (our completion rate is about 55%) at parkrun, they run for 30 minutes non-stop. Incredible. Unbelievable. Not for me, but for the runners. Many struggle to run for one minute non-stop on week 1. Quite honestly, they don’t know if they will be able to finish the course. It feels like an impossible challenge at the start. But I know. I know they can do it.
What makes it work …
It works because these beginners are surrounded by people who believe in them. And that’s contagious. When you lack in self-belief, it is important that somebody else holds your self-belief for you. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with positive upbeat people. People who believe in you when your self-belief is fragile or damaged.
But sometimes …
Sometimes our belief that they CAN DO THIS is not strong enough. Some beginners fall by the wayside because of sickness or injury or life gets in the way. Sometimes our belief in them is not as strong as their lack of self-belief.
However when they allow us to hold their self-belief in the crucial weeks at the start of the course, you cannot imagine anything better than the incredible mixture of happiness, pride and amazement that you feel at the end. When you cross that 5k finish line. When you realise “I did it!!!”
We know they can do it.
Every week we encourage, cheer, persuade and cajole our runners to keep going. The beginners tell us that what really keeps them going is that we believe they can do it. We hold their self-belief.
It’s more powerful than ‘we believe’ they can do it. We know they can do it. They start to believe they can do it too. That is so important – in life, at work, in business or in sport. Surround yourself with people who believe in you; who believe you CAN do it. On the running course, we set small goals each week. We tell them what to expect and when it will feel hard. And that we know they can do it.
When the magic happens
Half way through every course, something fabulous, something magic happens. The runners start to believe that 5k IS achievable. They start to notice the benefits of exercising three times a week. They have more energy; they are sleeping better; they feel healthier; their stress levels are dropping; they are snacking less; they are enjoying sport; they stop worrying about whether anybody is watching them; and most amazingly, they are walking taller because in the process, their self-belief, their confidence, their self-esteem has grown.
For a few, we hold that self-belief until the day of the final 5k.
And that’s ok.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because when you set out on a challenge such as starting a business or going back to work or developing a more healthy lifestyle, it can seem daunting and self-doubts creep in. When you are surrounded by negative people or non-believers, those self-doubts flourish. You lose confidence and you lose faith in yourself.
Surround yourself with positive people
When you surround yourself with positive people who believe in you, and what you can do, the difference in your confidence, your decision-making, your creativity and your self-belief is incredible and that gives you a different energy. People are attracted to you because you radiate energy and confidence. They believe in you too.
Sometimes the most powerful belief in you is from people outside your close friends and family. Your friends and family want you to succeed and to be happy however they also want to protect you. They don’t want you to get hurt or to take unnecessary risks. Sometimes that can hold you back … you may sense their lack of belief or feel a lack of support. If that’s you, find others who do believe in you. Who will accept your vision without question. Who will support you, encourage you and remind you to keep going when the going gets tough. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, whether that’s online or in real life.
When it’s your turn
After graduation, many of the beginners join our running club and run in one of our regular groups on a Tuesday, Thursday or Sunday.
What’s even better is that many of these beginners love what we have done SO much that they want to get involved. Which is why two weeks ago, at least half of the volunteers who turned up to hold the self-belief of our absolute beginners, were former graduates themselves. They know that the course works. They know that it is possible to become a runner in just 9 weeks.
Our former graduates are absolute proof that when you surround yourself with people who believe in you, who will hold your self-belief for you, you CAN do anything.
What about you? Tell me who holds your self-belief when you don’t.
