Having It All, Your Way, Yes You Can – Birds on the Blog

Having It All, Your Way, Yes You Can

When embarking on a journey to having it all, I wonder if there was a time when you sat down with your ‘have it all plan’ and scored each of the boxes. You know the boxes that say health, wealth, happiness, good looks, perfect job, wonderful man (or woman), and many other nice to haves. If there was a priority order or a mark out of 10, how might you balance each of these?

You don’t need me to tell you having it all is a myth. Well, part myth. How often do you come across someone with what appears like the perfect life (thank you, social media)? Then, when you find out it is all a sham, how do you feel? Sad, pleased, indifferent or aware that you need to start creating a more balanced picture of what is happening in your life?

And if the picture needs to be balanced, what is a balanced life in reality?

How do you strike a balance between everything you desire (having it all) with the real world?

ScalesWhat is balance?

Balance is a range of things, which are equally distributed. Imagine you are a tightrope walker. You need rope, a balancing pole and focus. You have the goal you are striving for (get to the other side) and the factors that shape the journey. Each of these factors become inputs into delivering the result – namely, the goal. Balance is a relationship; that is struck between all of these things. It is about how, when and where to put your attention, which part of the balancing act needs your focus, and what is the priority at any given time. Striking balances requires constant feedback from all of its factors. Communication, perspective and being in tune with conditions around them and you are key.

Having it all is not showing off to others and pretending that everything is perfect. It is about knowing what is important to you at any given time and balancing that against the external forces that pull you towards something that is not based on reality. Then there will be your internal forces, values, beliefs, habits and the choices you make around these.

Let’s be positive

You can have it all. That’s why I said it was part myth.

First, you need to know what all is? Having it all is connected to your values, vision, passion and purpose. You can have it all when you are truly connected to who you are because you know what you want and aren’t living to some ideal set by anyone else.

Then you need to know what all of the component parts of your have it all equation are. Which parts are a priority, when and what resources you need to keep things flowing in the right direction? Which parts can take a back seat? Which parts you don’t want but thought you did.

Having it all changes over time

Remember when you were striving for your first job? Then, when you got there, thinking mmm where next? What is my next fabulous role, how much will I be paid, what are the rewards? What can I buy with my hard-earned cash? Then as life and your priorities changed, you discover that you want the best school for the kids or pet-friendly hotels. Until eventually, life in the fast lane slows down, and you fancy disappearing into the sunset with your campervan for a year of living wild. Or, like me, you head to Spain and live in peace with your doggies.

When you look at having it all as a moving feast that changes as your life and needs change, then yes, you can have it all – your way, as and when you want.

Steps to having it all

Creating a balanced vision

  • Create the vision you want for right now (maybe 3 – 12 months hence)
  • What do you want to achieve, where are you going, what do you want to create, and your next challenges?
  • If you were to look at yourself and your career/business in the future, what would you have achieved?
  • It may help to write a metaphor to describe this point in time, to help visualise your vision
  • Are your aspirations clear and unambiguous? Can you communicate this to others?
  • Does your vision challenge you? Is it something that will transcend a statement and allow you to utilise it continually?
  • What are your critical success factors?

Assessing your life areas

  • Segment what you want into life areas
  • Set a priority on each, give each a score out of ten
  • Weigh up each until you create a balanced view of where you are going
  • Consider them in terms of values, passion, purpose and vision
  • Choose 4 areas to balance
  • What do you need to balance with what?
  • What makes up your having it all equation?
  • What stays in the equation, and what goes out?

Moving the needle

  • Which of those things singly or in combination with any others is taking you towards an unbalanced you?
  • Which of those things singly or in combination with any others is taking you towards a balanced you?
  • What one action can you take to move whatever number you scored up a notch towards 10?
  • What one action can you take to strike a balance with the areas you identified as not being in balance?
  • When will you take action?

Moving forwards

  • Create a list of resources that you have and a list of what you need for each of your areas
  • List the action steps needed
  • Set a timeframe for each
  • Assign resources
  • Risk assess each
  • Work out your what if’s
  • Create a contingency plan
  • Decide what your measure for success is
  • Open your mind and know that things rarely go in a straight line, no matter how much you plan them
  • Smile and enjoy the adventure

No matter where you are in your life, career or business, you can seize the having it all opportunity, providing you know what is in your equation, how each element balances each other and why.

Now get out there and grab every opportunity

About the Author Dale Darley

Helping over 50's women at a crossroads to rewrite their story and become the CEO of their lives. My role is to help my clients to find purpose, design their life and find inner peace. We all have stories. Stories that shape us fundamentally. How we show up today is a direct result of our experiences. I believe that even in our darkest moments, we are on the right path. Even though it may not feel that way. There are crossroads, transitions and the seemingly endless cosmic roundabouts that we enter. Right now is the perfect time to take stock and look at where you are, where you would like to be and what you would like to create – your legacy. I believe that we are all on journeys to discovering who we are so that we can use those experiences to make a difference and an impact in the world. Our personal leadership skills give us an incredible gift that enables us to be the CEO of our lives. Through my online courses, books and mentoring, I help you get clarity with: ♥ Getting clear on your hearts desires and purpose ♥ Becoming the CEO of your life ♥ Working on your personal leadership skills ♥ Finding inner peace Connect with me Dale Darley

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