When a child goes into foster care, there is a reason they are unable to stay in their home. There are children who come from stable, loving families. However, there are also children who have come from situations where they may have been abused or neglected.
There are also additional issues that arise simply because they have been in foster care. Although those in the system make their decisions based on what they believe to be the best interest of the child, no system is perfect. Because of this, children face consequences due to situations that are at times unavoidable.
Fear
Many children in foster care come from homes where they have been abused, or have seen another person abused. A child may have deep fear towards adults, and at times all people. There may also be fear of the unknown, since they have been removed from their normal world and placed into a new situation, many times without warning.
Grief
Foster children deal with grief for many reasons. They may suffer due to situations they have been exposed to in their home. They may also be dealing with the additional grief of being taken away from their loved ones. Grief is a normal emotion when a loss has occurred, and assistance must be given to the individuals in order to deal with that loss in a healthy manner.
Anger
A child who has been taken from their home may have anger issues. Anger towards the parents they feel have failed them, or even anger towards the system and the foster parents themselves. There will likely be a lot of misplaced anger, so do not be surprised when the child you are trying to help turns and puts the blame on you. Understand that it is normal and expected.
Self-Esteem Issues
When a child has been removed from their home, they often feel rejection. Even if no outright rejection occurred, it is a natural thing for a child to blame themselves for being taken from their family. Children need support when dealing with this, and must be reassured that they themselves are not the reason they are in foster care.
Multiple Placements
If a child has been in the system for any length of time, it is likely they have been in more than one home. This can wreak havoc on a child’s security and make them feel like they have no home base. It is difficult to be constantly uprooted, and forced to switch schools and even groups of friends. Be patient and understanding with the children in your care, as this is a difficult feeling for them to deal with.
Attachment Issues
When a child has been taken from the life of a loved one, attachment disorders can occur. Children are resilient, but at times they develop coping mechanisms that are not in the best interest of future relationships. When a child has been abandoned or forced to depart from loved ones, they begin to put up walls that do not come down easily. They may harden themselves against becoming too attached to anyone they care for, lest they be hurt again. Be patient and continue showing unconditional love and acceptance to a child who deals with this.
All children are different, and they face different situations in their lives. There are, however, themes that tend to be common among children in the foster system. Find out some of the issues and you will be better prepared to encourage and support the children who are placed in your care.
