Why loving yourself *right now* will help you lose weight
For the past two weeks, I’ve been “talking” with mindset expert Victoria Morrison of Life Fitness Coaching in Sydney, Australia. First she shared with me how she made the transition from binge eater to weight-loss coach. Last week, in part 2 of our interview, she explained why we can’t “hate ourselves” into making positive changes.
Today we’re wrapping up our conversation, as Victoria gives us strategies on how loving ourselves now can actually help us achieve all our goals.
Mary: Often we believe we will be happy after we lose weight or find that special partner or achieve a
promotion or make a certain amount of money.
Can you talk about how people can experience happiness, confidence, and other benefits now, while they are still in pursuit of their goals?
Victoria: Many women tell themselves, “I don’t deserve to be happy until I lose x pounds.” If you have struggled with your weight and can see that you are putting things off in your life—for example, “I’ll do that when I’ve lost the weight”—then you need to be consciously taking steps to increase your happiness right now as part of your weight loss strategy.
It sounds counterintuitive, but have you ever had a friend lose weight without trying because things just started going well in her world?
Maybe she got a great new partner or ditched a relationship that was weighing her down (pun intended), got a great new job, started a new hobby or something. Whatever—she got happy.
She got engaged in something that was enjoyable, made her feel good, and raised her self-esteem. She wasn’t even trying to lose weight, and yet she naturally released her excess kilos.
We often fear that being happy or being nice to ourselves will make us lazy and we’ll get fatter, but that is not the case.
We need to remember that ultimately what we want is to be happy.
We think that being slim will make us happy, but actually it is the other way around; we need to be happier to get slim. We need to get to a place of self-acceptance where we can say, “I’m OK. I’m a worthwhile person, and I prefer to be slim and healthy.”
When we are able to act from a place of self-love and self-respect, we will allow ourselves to release the excess weight that isn’t serving us.
We cannot expect to suddenly be happy with our lives just because the scales show a particular number.
If we have been practicing negative self-talk and feeling undeserving of happiness, we have been strengthening our ability to be unhappy, to be dissatisfied and not good enough.
We will continue being good at accessing those thoughts and feelings until we change our mindset and replace those habitual thinking patterns with ones that make us feel more positive.
Start doing things that make you feel happy now, and you will make the process of losing weight easier and more effective.
Make a list of 100 things that make you happy, bring a smile to your face, make you feel good in some way. By making this list (I know—100 things?), you are training your brain to start looking for things that make you feel good. This begins the process of learning to focus on things that make you feel more positive.
Remember too that when we are happier, we are less stressed, which is important for weight loss. At the same time, we feel more energised and “can do,” which makes staying on track easier.
Big huge goals . . . or baby steps?
Mary: People tend to get fired up about big huge goals that could take a long time to achieve. Would you talk about the benefits of also setting the small daily goals that will make the big goals possible?
Victoria: Setting and achieving small daily goals is a great way to experience success every day. Every big goal is only achieved by completing those smaller steps, so each small step is important.
It is important to consider that every step either moves you towards your goal or away from it.
It is inspiring to see in your imagination that completing those smaller actions is inextricably linked to you achieving your ultimate goal. When you really grasp this concept, you become completely willing to complete those small daily actions.
Robert Collier said, “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”
Kinda says it all, really.
Mary: How common is it in your work for you to see clients who are sabotaging their own progress?
Victoria: This is why clients come to me—because they are sabotaging themselves. They start out with the best intentions in the world and end up sabotaging any progress.
They are perfectly capable of telling me what they are doing to sabotage their weight loss efforts—things like emotional eating, snacking too much, eating the “wrong” foods, overeating when socialising, drinking too much and making poor food choices, not exercising, unde eating then bingeing, etc. —but they don’t know how to turn things around, and they’ve tried.
They’ve tried all sorts of different diets and different programs with no lasting success.
They are at the point where they feel helpless; they want to lose weight, but they don’t believe it’s really possible for them. This a really painful place to be.
Many of my clients are smart women, well-educated and successful in other areas of their lives. They feel embarrassed and confused that they haven’t been able to sort out their weight issue. After all, eating and moving are such basic things, aren’t they? How could they not have a handle on this stuff? It is a real blow to their self-esteem to be such a “failure” in this area.
Mary: What would you say are some of the most common reasons for self-sabotage?
Victoria: Self-sabotage is a result of the individual’s beliefs. The limiting beliefs I hear start with “I can’t lose weight because . . .” or “Losing weight is too hard because . . .” and they finish with things like
- I’m an emotional eater
- I like all the wrong foods
- I travel for work
- I have a great social life/eat out a lot
- I have to prepare meals my family will eat
- I’ve got the fat gene (everyone in my family is fat)
- I have a slow metabolism.
In my work, we get rid of limiting beliefs like these by replacing them with empowering beliefs chosen by the client.
In some cases we simply work on weakening an unhelpful belief whilst simultaneously strengthening a positive belief.
We humans are perfectly capable of holding conflicting beliefs. The strongest of those beliefs will always win out, so it is essential we strengthen the beliefs that allow us to lose weight and keep it off.
There are a number of ways we can achieve a desirable shift in beliefs. The magic happens when resourceful weight loss beliefs are genuinely our strongest beliefs. This is when the process of losing weight becomes effortless.
You can find Victoria online at Life Fitness Coaching.
Join us next week—it’s free!
If you’d like to learn our 7-Step Formula for Weight Loss Success, please join Victoria and me for a free live training session offered two times next week.
If you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, register for the session at 6 p.m. ET (Australia) Sunday, March 24 (that’s 7 a.m. GMT).
The calls will be recorded, so register even if you can’t be present for one of the live training sessions!
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