Why fear is a sensitive and successful woman’s best friend
Remember how it felt after eventually breaking through a block or taking that decision? At first, getting unstuck creates feelings of release, lightness and power. But then – sooner or later – fear creeps up. Let me explain why you should rejoice when this happens.
After taking big leaps we all start to struggle. This is part of the process of transgressing existing boundaries and of growing. If you manage to make a big shift this creates a temporary imbalance of who you believe you are. It is as if by getting what you wanted to achieve or change, you’ve lost the ground below your feet.
Of course! You just stepped on to new grounds. Even if you are ever curious, eager to learn and try new things, the fact holds true that we don’t like the unknown, the uncertain.
I bet you know exactly what I mean. You just managed to take a decision and put it into action like hiring someone to get support or starting a new project or leaving behind a limiting belief. And suddenly the fog comes up. Your brain freezes. You feel confused, stupid and alone.
Don’t listen to this voice!
To assure you, I do know how it feels when this little monster in your head starts telling you, “Wait, wait, this can’t possibly last.” or “You know that you have been struggling to cope with noisy places and crowds during your whole life; don’t pretend that you can handle it now, you can’t.”
There are days when I am questioning myself and wonder: do I have ‘unreasonable’ fears or am I dreading something ‘real’?
One thing you must know: usually you have several ‘critics’ living in your head. These monsters – embodied fears and doubts – have an effect on your mind and your body. They may harm your self-esteem, efficiency and joy. And just ‘silencing’ your inner critic does sometimes work and sometimes this is not good enough.
Sensitive and creative women like you want to learn to deal with this inner critic. Because these nagging voices will show up even if – or maybe because – you are successful and reach the goals you have set yourself. Right?
The good news is: they try to tell us something…
Feel the fear – and welcome it as your best friend
You may have heard of the in international bestseller Feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s a great read I can highly recommend. I believe that what makes people successful and having the life they love is that they act in spite of fear.
Or as Fritz Pearls put it: “Fear is excitement without the breath.” That’s why fear can be your best friend.
You can use the physical component of fear to your advantage. Fear can literally ‘freeze’ your body, you may feel unable to move. All you need to do to overcome this state is to… breathe deeply and slowly. Secondly you gently move your body. Now you add a smile (this is very important, I’m not kidding). Then you focus on a place in your body that feels warm, safe, cosy or strong. Finally you can add empowering thoughts like “I can handle this.” or “I am a capable and successful woman.”
I invite you to welcome this fear next time it shows up. Add the breath and enjoy the excitement. In a gentle way you then can blast through it. All you need to do is to practice. And never forget to have fun along the ride.
I just described one way to use mind-body wisdom to create and experience success. Want to learn more?
Latest posts by Patricia Mauerhofer (see all)
- Why fear is a sensitive and successful woman’s best friend - May 18, 2016