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2 steps to weight loss love

In this post you will learn the best way to motivate yourself to achieve a weight loss goal.

Some reading this might think you know the best weight loss motivation strategy – and perhaps you do – but have you been able to put it into practice? If not, keep reading to learn how to turn that around.

Motivation strategies

I started researching motivation strategies many years ago in an effort to solve my own weight problem. I soon discovered that people are basically motivated by either a carrot or the stick.

I learned that I had been using a solely stick approach to losing weight – and that it wasn’t a very good approach at all for a weight loss goal.

In fact I learned it was responsible for my self-sabotage.

Let me explain…

The stick approach to weight loss

Over the many years I struggled with yo-yo dieting, I had become an expert in extremely negative self-talk. I used self-criticism and shaming-talk to get myself geed up to start each new diet. I would focus on all the things I’d done wrong (eating the wrong foods, in the wrong amounts, at the wrong times) and all the things I hated about my body.

My strategy was to insult myself into taking action. Insults were my “stick”. I’d say things like, “I’m such a disgrace. My thighs are revolting. I have to lose weight!” (Actually the things I really said were much worse, but you get the idea.)

Perhaps the intention was tough love – but it didn’t feel very loving.

The more I tried and failed in my weight loss attempts, the more verbally violent I was towards myself and the worse I felt.

The tricky thing was that often this strategy DID get me started on a weight loss plan. But it also made me feel bad about myself.

And sooner or later feeling bad led to comfort eating!

Weight loss self-sabotage explained

When I saw how how all this linked together I could see how all my weight loss attempts had ended up going wrong for me.

I could see that the way I was motivating myself got me started on my weight loss plans, but it was also exactly what made me feel so bad that I ended up binge eating.

The harder I tried. the meaner I was to myself with my negative self-talk, and the worse things got.

The stick approach had created a habit of negative self-talk. That’s how habits are created right ? By doing things over and over.

Unfortunately this habit meant I felt bad about myself a lot of the time. As a consequence I felt I needed a lot of comforting and I piled away A LOT of food in my binges.

I came to understand that a “stick-style” motivation strategy only works short-term for a weight loss goal. Good for getting started but doesn’t work long-term. It was time to try the carrot approach and get the results I truly wanted – permanent weight loss!

Long story short, switching to positive self-talk led me on a different journey all the way to sustainable weight loss. (I’ve been lean and binge-free for over 15 years now and you can read my personal story here if you feel so inclined.)

Would you like to move from negative to positive self-talk?

2 steps to dump your negative self-talk

Ultimately successful weight loss is a journey of learning to love and look after yourself.

You begin the self-love by speaking to yourself nicely. Kindness is your carrot!

Here are two steps to positive self-talk – even if you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of self-love (yet).


Having a goal “to be my ideal weight” instead of a goal “to lose 5 kilos” was game-changing for me.


Because when you tell yourself you want to lose 5 kilos, you immediately focus on those 5 unwanted kilos – and just thinking about them feels burdensome, doesn’t it?

In contrast, when I focus on being my ideal weight, I feel inspired. I imagine being fit, healthy, lighter, confident, relaxed. I’m happy to take action towards those things – and so I do! This re-wording really begins to empower you to take action.

What to do if you don’t feel particularly self-loving yet:

  • Love yourself enough to re-word your goal anyway. Revamp your goal statement and remind yourself of it often.


Your new style of self-talk doesn’t have to be gushy or insincere. Just talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you cared about and respected. Talk to yourself as if you were a dear friend. Be kind and have reasonable expectations. That’s it!

What to do if you don’t feel particularly self-loving yet:

  • Choose just one encouraging statement. Use your statement whenever you notice the old negative self-talk come up – because it will. Have your new statement ready to replace the old one. This is your new mantra. It can be something as simple as, “One step at a time towards what I want”.

The carrot approach to weight loss

The two steps above are acts of self-love. Remember: Successful weight loss is a journey of learning to love and look after yourself.

As you progress, you’ll notice more supportive self-talk starts to come naturally. You’ll find:

  • You are saying exactly what you need to hear, in the way you’ll respond to it best.
  • You aren’t demanding perfection; instead you’re offering inspiration and encouraging yourself to make progress each day.
  • You’re respecting yourself and building yourself up. You’re feeling optimistic and supported.

There you go – that’s self-love! It all starts with a little bit of kindness, a little bit of carrot.


Victoria Morrison, Weight Loss Mind Coach

Victoria Morrison

Weight Loss Success Coach at Weight Loss Mind Coaching
I'm a Weight Loss Success Coach - specialising in mindset. I work with women who are struggling with their weight by helping them change the way they think so they can finally have the lean, healthy body they’re after. Check out my powerful Successful Weight Loss Now session for your smartphone. Daily viewing will change your mindset and change your weight loss results. It’s fun and it works!

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