Getting more than I bargained for at the checkout!
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I was in the supermarket the other day and got a few bits and pieces and whilst at the checkout the lady putting our items through blurted out “You should be using Vitamin E on that” I looked around to see if she was talking to somebody she knew, but no, it was all directed at me and as I looked down at my bump I realised what she was on about.
I politely said that I was looking after myself and there was no sign of stretch marks as of yet and thanked her for her advice. But that wasn’t it, she insisted that whatever I was using was not good enough and Vitamin E would be a lot better. Fortunately we were only grabbing a few bits so I didn’t have to engage in conversation for long so I vowed to try it and walked off with a smile on my face.
I thought it was odd that a supermarket checkout person would be so adamant with their advice when they didn’t know me but forgot about it and got on my way.
A couple of days later I popped into a different supermarket to get yet more supplies I’d forgotten about in my weekly shop, only to be faced with an accusation from another checkout person. As my skimmed milk was being passed over the bleeper she turned to me and said “I hope you’re not drinking that!” to which I said, of course I am, what else would I do with it? I got a very accusing look and was told that I was not looking after my baby, as the baby needed full fat milk to grow.
I explained to her that my midwife was very happy with how the baby is growing and that I was advised that so long as I eat a sensible diet there is no need to increase my calorie intake as the baby will take everything she needs and if I’m hungry my body will tell me, but this was not a good enough answer.
She then went on to say that she hoped I was drinking Guinness every day, and even though it was none of her business I explained that I am slightly anaemic and am therefore on iron tablets so I was getting all the iron I needed from them as well as a balanced diet. But no, this was not good enough, I was wrong for listening to my midwife and doctor and I should listen to her, basically insinuating I was going about my pregnancy all the wrong way.
With only 4 weeks to go I think I’ve done alright personally, plus the fact she was telling me to scrap the milk and go onto alcohol instead as it was ‘best for the baby’?! Hmmm I think not!
I eventually got away from the mad woman and her accusing stare and whilst driving home thought, what is it with people on checkouts giving you advice on how to look after your baby? I bet if I walked in pregnant, stinking of booze and fags, stuffing my face with a cream cake they wouldn’t have said a word! So why does a healthy pregnant woman get so much grief and advice when picking up a few items from the shops?
It kind of annoyed me as I expect to get advice thrown at me from all directions and have plainly said to all my friends and family that they can give me as much advice as they want but ultimately I will do what I feel is best for me and my baby and if I make mistakes then that is all part and parcel of being a first time mum and I will learn from those mistakes and move on, I don’t expect to have to make this statement in a supermarket!
Has anyone else had random advice from strangers or supermarket staff? Is it me that just attracts them?!
Emily
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I feel for you Emily, your bump is now public property!
When Sarah was pregnant with our two I used to send her to buy my tobacco. She was always told off by the shop staff who never believed it was for someone else.
Wait until little one is born, all the old ladies in your district will descend upon you the moment you step foot out of the door
Goodness! I didn’t really get any hassle at all while pregnant. That said, I’m tall(ish) and J seemed to squash against my spine lengthways so that the bump stayed relatively (and disappointingly) small. Oh, but wait until the baby is born – then the fun really begins! From what you feed them, to how you hold them, sleep routine, nappy choice, what you’re eating, how often to breastfeed, how to breastfeed, how often to have them weighed, what they should weigh, have they got enough hair? have they got too much hair? head too big? head too small? crying too much? crying too little? you’re going to them too quickly when they cry, you’re not going quickly enough, sleep on their side, sleep on their back, sleep on their tummy, room is too hot, room is too cold. Oh yes, everyone will have an opinion, and everyone will be right! But you, being the sensible lady that you are, will no doubt learn to smile politely, tune out, and do what you think is best with a little help from the professionals (and by professionals I mean midwives/health visitors – not shop assistants!) and your lovely new baby will be beautifully looked after, happy and healthy.
It sounds to me as if you’ve already got the right attitude – doing what feels right for you and your baby and not letting all the nosy biddies scare you! You’ve got to trust your instincts as you know yourself and your baby better than anyone else does.
Emily’s right, it won’t get any better once the baby arrives. I remember walking into a supermarket with my oldest in a sling and my husband close behind. An elderly lady who I’d never seen before stopped me to see the baby and asked how old he was. When I told her five days (or however many it was) she just said “Oh for goodness sake!” and walked off.
WOW, frankly you have been way to patient with the checkout staff.. I would have had a few choice words for them. But good on you and Best wishes
I did feel wrong the other day buying a crate of Cider and some wine for a BBQ we had, I’m sure there was a few disapproving stares! : )
Thanks Emily, I can only imagine what advice I am going to get, but as you say the best thing is to zone out and take on board what you want to and I think as with everything in life you have to make your own mistakes and learn from them. : )
It must just be something about supermarkets where as soon as the doors swish open people think their opinions must be heard. I’d actually love to work in a supermarket and just people watch all day I think it would be fascinating, maybe I could tell people some of my advice – tee hee!!
Thanks Ida, I’ll try avoid eye contact with checkout staff for the time being : )
My wife constantly tells me off for smiling at pregnant women. She says it makes me look like I have some kinda fettish when in truth I am just pleased for them and chuckle to myself as to what is about to come their way lol Good luck with your last few weeks
Cool Bananas
Martin
I have noticed more people smiling at me and giving a little nod towards the bump, which is nice, it’s when they come over and start touching it that it gets a little freaky!! : )
Thanks Ali, I usually think of a fabulous come back just as I’m walking away and kick myself for not thinking of it sooner. I think I get flabbergasted at peoples comments or confrontation that all my quick witted jibes float away – darn this baby brain of mine!
I’ll try enjoy the last bit, although back ache, heart burn and tiredness don’t fill me with joy each morning…
Yup I have a vague recollection (it is 8 years ago now) of my bump being public property, not just with comments either – lots of touchy feely action going on too! As you rightly said, you know what is best for you. Have you tried cutting sarcasm as a response, I find it works brilliantly on most occasions with busybody types – you might even get to kinda look forward to them cross questioning you just to have the opportunity to vent your hormone laden venom upon them (that may have just been me).
The only bit of advice I would ever give a mum is listen hard to yourself, mother really does know best. Good luck and enjoy every last minute.