Are you a hater? Or are you just expressing a differing opinion?

By Paula Jones

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I am not comfortable with the term “hater”. Haters gonna hate, so the interwebs tell us.

All over Facebook, I see “motivational” quotes about how to deal with the hater, and I look at the comments where posters chime in about how haters are sad losers, with no lives, yadda yadda.

The problem with this is that now, the term hater has become synonymous with “troll”, and as we know, trolls are completely different. But DO we know this?

A few years ago the Sun newspaper (and I use the word newspaper with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek) ran a campaign to out the troll. This led to innocent posters having their personal details sent to the Sun; their only crime was disagreeing with the party line on a given subject. It’s easy to say we shouldn’t take this seriously, but there are some scary people out there who seek to discredit and make life very uncomfortable for anyone who speaks out.

Haters-Gonna-Hate-Pink-Unicorn-BikeLet’s be clear about this; a troll is someone who purposely disrupts and causes problems. A hater, in its original urban dictionary definition, is someone who cannot be happy for someone else’s success. It’s a fairly poor shorthand expression, but it does the job. If you’ve got a unicorn bike, yes I want one, I might well be envious. And it’s a pretty joyous use of the meme.

However, disagreeing with someone or something DOES NOT MAKE YOU A HATER. It does not mean you are jealous. It does not mean you are a troll. It’s become the lazywebs method of choice for stomping on alternative viewpoints for the bandwagoners who need to belong, and use this meme as their only choice. I guess discourse analysis was taught the day they were off sick from school.

I get sick of people attempting to discuss, then being shot down with “haters gonna hate.”

Oh grow up, and learn some debating skills.

That is all.



See you next week.



Paula Jones
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Paula Jones

Mojo Coach at Project Confidence
Paula Jones is a coach and clinical hypnotherapist, and Project Confidence is for professional women to gain personal confidence, overcome fears, and beat anxiety for great performance in work and in life.
Paula Jones
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Well said. It’s interesting some claims of people being “haters” are leveled at those who are themselves making outrageous and inaccurate allegations about something, and attack the voice of reason pointing out the inaccuracies in their content.

There are of course some who just like to wear their grumpy pants around and share their general state of disagreeableness wherever they go, but that doesn’t prevent them being accurate – typically real Haters don’t worry about accuracy.

We seem to have lost the fine art of debate, the ability to agree to disagree – to respect an alternative viewpoint, credibly put forward from a different perspective. There *should* be a difference between disagreeing and just being a hateful troll, but sadly all too often online there is not.

It’s a shame that the art of debating has been lost. I was good friends with someone on Facebook (note this on Facebook and didn’t ever get to meet her) for a year or so and then early last year I disagreed with a way she had dealt with somebody.

She immediately unfriended me on Facebook and made life quite difficult in some of the Groups we were both in, she even removed me from a couple.

People do need to learn that we can’t all agree on the same thing, wouldn’t it be dull if we did?

There’s a well known internet marketer who brands everyone who disagrees with her mean or a hater. As far as I’m aware, a differing of opinion doesn’t signify any hate.
I have comments on here, and other blogs that I don’t agree with, yet I don’t think they’re haters. It’s a default term for anyone who disagrees with another person, usually someone who hasn’t thought out the whole picture and shared half-cocked information.

I’ve had stalkers and haters online, they never let you breathe for one moment, they are relentless across multiple platforms.

The most recent notable was a person who declared I was a fraud for my Twitter buyer followers experiment. As a person who often experiments with all kinds of social media strategies and tactics (on my own profiles), you’ll often see me do crazy things. This means when I give advice, it’s from experience. This guy hounded me across Twitter and decided my experiment advocated buying followers. Anything I tried to explain was shouted down. So I blocked them. And they found me on Facebook, blocked there… they found me on Linkedin… And it was quite intense for a few months with this guy stalking and abusing me to anyone and everyone. He was a hater, he felt he was doing some kind of public service in telling people I was a fraud, even though I’ve never advocated buying followers. On the upside… once people understood that i tweak and test almost everything I got more clients….

Well said,
nowadays we seem to lost our ability in debating. People want to share their opinions and want to get other opinions also, but they get some really ” strong feedback” that can be considered insults to them. Sometimes people lose themselves on debate that they accidentally turn to haters because they want to protect their idea so seriously.
thanks for your sharing.


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