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Dear Angelina Jolie, about that divorce… #Brangelina

CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 16 : Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attend 'The Tree Of Life' Premiere during the 64th Cannes Film Festival

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to Divorce

I’m sorry to read that your marriage to Brad Pitt is over.

Truly I am. After a 10 year relationship, 6 children together and surgery of the rather extensive kind… you’ve both been through a lot together. You’ve travelled the world, worked together and worked on a lot of humanitarian causes. Together you’ve done so much, and created so many memories and experiences.

I can only imagine how tough things are for you right now.

You’ll have the world’s media parked outside your house (again) and lots of comparisons to Jennifer Aniston (again), as well as people dragging up things your dad has said over the years (again). It can’t be pleasant and I’m sure you knew this when your divorce papers were filed.

Be kind to yourself please.

You are doing this for your children.

You know what you’re doing is right, and you’re going to be in a vulnerable position right now. I know you wouldn’t do this unless your home life was that intolerable. No one is saying you should have stuck it out (well I’m certainly not saying it) but you’re going to get all kinds of advice and shitty quotes about sticking it out and that married life is better to raise children.

Better for whom? Unless you’ve lived in a relationship like this, you don’t know what it’s like. Your job isn’t to “fix him” he’s a grown man FFS. If he can’t fix himself, or don’t want too, it’s not your responsibility.

The children… They are your responsibility.

Don’t stay in a sham marriage for your children.

They won’t thank you for it. And don’t shield them from who he is. That’s not your job either.

You’ve never, ever shied away from a challenge. Leaving a husband that isn’t living up to his potential is something a lot of women fantasize about but never quite manage. When you end an unhappy relationship, you lend them some of your strength.

But don’t be afraid to borrow some of our strength too.

Yes, some of us manage to free ourselves from men who look good on paper and to the outside world, and lead a new life. A life that is better quality, fewer upsets, less living on a knife edge. A life with more hope and certainty in it, because you deserve that too.

And even though it’s not your fault, it will feel like it. You may feel like caving to the monumental pressure that whispers make it work. This will fade over time, and Angelina, you’ve never struck me as someone to throw a pity-party and wallow in what might have been. You’ve given it your best shot, it didn’t work out. It’s time to move on because life is too short to spend it being miserable inside.

You can move on with raising happy and healthy children. You’re strong and financially independent (at least I hope you are, if you’re not what chance have the rest of us got?) and now it’s time to get back to living.

Sarah

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